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| - Used and Abused -
September 14th, 2004
Everytime you talk to me
You fill my head
With endless lies
Of how you feel
I felt used
Everytime you kiss me
Was just another lie
You filled me with
But it felt so right
This use and abuse
I need the pain
You cause for me
I like the way
You pressured on
How simple minded
I was back then
But I enjoyed every minute
All the mind games
That you played with me
But you thought I didn't know
When in reality
It turned me on to something
I never felt before
I like the way you used me
How every fuck
Meant absolutely nothing
Somehow that made up for the emptiness
Of all emotion shown from you
I cared so much
But you took advantage
My affection was so real
And yours was plastic fake
I wanted it to end differently
I know I was used
So I turned it around
To me being used is some fucked up way
To show a form of love
Thats why I let myself get used
And took the abuse
I thought that someday
Things would go my way
But now I see
This will never happen
I was used, and nothing more
It was not somehow
A hidden form of love
Like what I had thought
I was insignificant
What I felt was genuine
And after all that I went through
I know that if the tables were turned
And I weren't the dumb kid
So easily manipulated
I probably would have used and abused you too.
~ Alice Oscarson ~© | | |
| - Always and Forever -
April 6th, 2005
And......
You are the only one,
Who means the world to me.
When I think of what you've done,
I know that we are meant to be.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You made my life bright,
When it was dark.
It all felt so right,
From the very start.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You've made my life happy,
For the very first time.
I've never felt like this before,
Loving you should be a crime.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You lifted me up,
When I was feeling down.
With one look into my eyes,
My life was turned around.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You raised my spirits,
When they were low.
And then touched my heart,
And helped me to grow.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You are why I do what I do,
In my life to carry on.
Giving me endless hope,
And keeping me strong.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You make me complete,
And give me reason to live.
I want you to have it all,
All that I can give.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You make things right,
And don't let me fall.
I look at you and know,
Love enures all.
......I will love you always and forever.
And......
You are the only one,
Who is always there for me.
When I see what we have become,
I know we are meant to be.
......I will love you always and forever.
~Alice Oscarson~© | | |
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my first attempt at drawing an anime girl's face. | | |
| - This way about you -
September 9th 2004
Why do I feel this way about you?
Looking at you, and you looked back,
Holding my hand.
Walking me through life,
It all seemed so real.
Why do I feel this way about you?
You were there for me,
Through all the rough times.
Holding me tightly,
So I wouldn't start to cry.
Why do I feel this way about you?
Staring deep into your eyes,
You now turn your head away as I start to cry.
The feeling of rejection burns strong inside,
Another tear rolls down my face.
Why do I feel this way about you?
For a moment you turn your head,
You look at me and you see.
That I have fallen down, and can't get up,
I reach out for you, but you walked away.
Why do I feel this way about you?
You were always there for me,
I thought you cared.
But then you turned your back,
And thats when I realized you didn't care about me.
Why do I feel this way about you?
When you ripped my heart out,
And then handed it over on a silver platter.
You used to pay attention, I now go unnoticed,
To you, I meant nothing.
Why do I still feel this way about you?
You mean so much,
And I mean so little.
Its because I love you,
Thats why.
Why don't you feel the same way too?
~Alice Oscarson~© | | |
| - Underage Slut -
September 2004
I looked at you,
And you looked at me.
I thought love and heartbreak,
You knew I'd be easy.
Inviting me into your room
I was scared, but you made it right,
By putting my arms around you,
And looking into my eyes,
You said some gentle words,
I wasn't scared anymore.
I soon felt safe, here in your arms,
Little did i know,
That soon I would be shattered.
You kissed me, and I kissed back,
I was caught up in a dream,
Everything felt so right.
You said I was scared,
I showed you I wasn't.
It felt so good to have a feeling like this,
But everything moved so quickly,
Waking up the next morning,
Not believing it really happened,
I rolled over, and you were still there.
I closed my eyes,
I didn't want to wake up,
Not knowing that it would hurt so much,
I thought it was fun at the time.
But now have realized that it wasn't,
When I felt all this pain.
I was used time and time again.
This is what i get,
For being a young and stupid girl.
Someone like you,
Could never like me.
What was supposed to be so special,
To be shared with someone you love and trust,
The reasons I shared it with you don't matter now.
And to you it meant nothing,
I was only there for you to get a few fucks.
Look at me now,
I was just another underage slut.
~ Alice Oscarson ~© | | |
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